aziza, if you please

i read about Aziza in my beloved Gourmet Magazine (RIP) 

but i never thought i'd actually eat there.

it's too far away from the Mission! it's a nearly $20 cab ride!

all the way out on 22nd & Geary, it might as well be in Idaho.

two weeks prior to my Aziza dinner i saw a psychic for the

first time. the circumstances of the Psychic Appointment were

a little sketchy-- a customer at the bar had been on my ass

for weeks, asking me to go out. no, no, no. all my usual No's--

"i don't hang out with customers until i know them," "i'm

a really busy girl, i barely have time to see people i already

KNOW i like, let alone hang out with weirdos from the bar"...

but she enticed me...

she offered me an appointment with an "amazing psychic".

i'm a closet (well, not-so-closeted, i suppose) hippy; i suppose

a better way to say it is "i'm a hippy in wolf's clothing"

i blackberry messengered amy and cousin donny (like IM'ing, but but better.

from now on i will refer to BM'ing in my sister's term: MAINLINING)

i mainlined both amy (also a secret-hippy!) and cousin d (logical. boo.)

and amy gave me an enthusiastic "YES, you HAVE to go see

the Amazing Psychic. and if it turns out bad, this will at least

be a really good story."

so, i quickly told my customer, Yes--

moments later i got the downer message from cousin donny saying

all the usual stuff:

"this is insane"

"you can NOT go out with this girl"

and

"oh great now I'M gonna have to kick this girl out of the bar for you"

so...

the girl picked me up the following thursday for lunch

before the appointment. i figured, What The Hell, i might as well

eat, too. she seemed disappointed that her choice of the

Waterfront on the Embarcadero didn't impress me. uh, DUH.

that place is for tourists.

plus, she ordered badly.

the only turn-off that is more of a boner-killer than ordering

badly is tipping badly. 

i had two glasses of champagne with lunch to make

my nicoise salad seem not-so-disappointing (really, how do

you fuck that up? they managed to), so by the time we

got to the appointment with the psychic i was feeling

fantastic.

(and the sketchy part? the appointment with the psychic

was at the girl's PRIVATE HOME. wtf? if some dude

tricked me into going to his home i'd have walked off.)

i sit down with the psychic, and the girl pours us some

red wine. she (tackily) tells us it is a $100 bottle,

although i looked it up when i got home and it retails

for $40 online. insult to (tacky) injury, she had the red

wine chilled in a wine fridge. um, NO.

despite the fact it was too cold, i'm not gonna lie,

the wine was pretty good.

 

the psychic and i start chatting. i tell her i'm a Taurus,

Taurus rising with a Cancer moon, and she says, OOO, 

girl you like to eat, don't you!

uh, yes.

we really hit it off.

we're really groovin' here; we're making each other laugh,

she's calling me on my shit, we're having an amazing time.

we start talking about delicious cocktails, and i mention

my two favorite places right now-- Range and Beretta.

she say, "no, no, you HAVE TO go with me to MY FAVORITE place--"

--and THAT-- is how i ended up on the 22 bus

in my fancy Diane VonFuerstenberg silk dress , headed

out to Geary and 22nd, which feels further than Idaho.

i do believe it is located somewhere near Botswana.

there was only one other occupied table when i met the

psychic (Martha !) in the gorgeous Moroccan-styled booth.

good thing we made the date early--

6 PM dinner reservations and we ate until 10:30...

that is a 4.5 hour dinner, people!

and when you get a load of their menu, you'll know why.

their cocktail menu reads like a grocery list, as each drink

is named simply after its main flavor:

quince

raspberry

apple

pear

huckleberry

almond

cilantro

basil

my two favorites (we were dedicated in our attack upon the list)

were the

celery

sage, agave, housemade celery salt & gin

and ginger

frangelico, gin

the housemade celery salt was the touch that made the Celery

fucking killer-- it flaked off the rim and dropped into the drink

from the moment it was set in front of me. yummy. the Ginger

features that new ginger cordial (or perhaps it's a liquor?) that

i have been hearing about but haven't actually seen with my

own two eyes... AMAZING.

i also tried the thai chili, with lemon grass, chartreuse, mint

& gin, and although the first sip was DEVINE, it was far too

intense to eat with food.

but maybe i am just to white for it. Martha, the psychic, liked

it.

our starter plates were pleasant but not TO DIE FOR, but
my main dish was fucking ridiculous-- i stuck with the house
specialty and ate the cous cous, while Martha got the lamb
shank.

uhhhh..... lamb shank.


my mouth waters just thinking about it. my dinner was good.
really good. but her lamb FELL OFF THE BONE --

the way a good lamb should...

i haven't gone out alone with the customer again (did i mention
that she brought a gift to the table at the restaurant? this
is no joke.)

she was waaay too over the top.

but i am certainly hanging out with Martha the Psychic
again, and i am CERTAINLY headed back to Aziza.

to get some of the lamb all for myself....